In my experience as a life coach, I am convinced that one of the most common dilemmas people face in life is: When is a good time to let go of something.
Whether it is a relationship, job, people, opportunities, certain types of thinking, emotions etc people are constantly faced with this difficult decision-making process.
We have a fear that if we let go too soon, we would be missing an opportunity or we would lose out. If we let go too late, we would be hurt, we would regret it, we would find ourselves deeper into something than we ever intended.
Maybe this is why psychics and card readers always have a steady stream of customers because people want to know the RIGHT TIME to do something? Unfortunately for most people, getting a reading done, only makes the decision even harder because more doubts may surface for them: Can this psychic be trusted? Is he/she telling the truth? What if he/she is wrong?
At the end of the day, the reality is that we all need to make that decision. No one else can do it for us. It is tough, but so are you!
Life is such that we are constantly bombarded by circumstantial change, people change, situational change. The sooner we accept this, the easier it is to deal, learn and grow.
My 12 year old recently had to learn to let go of her old school as the school is moving to the other side of the country. And we are not prepared to move along, this means we needed to find her a new school. She was mulling over this emotionally even though she knew the decision has already been made, she just could not let go. She went on about it for two months, even though we had talked about it to death. The final straw came when my birthday celebration was ruined because she was mulling over this, and trying to blackmail me into moving along with the school to the other side of the country. I had to dish out some hard truths in order for her to wake up and realise that we are not backtracking. I knew it was tough for her, but I also realized that with her holding on to her attachments to her school and talking about it with no end only made her attachments stronger and it became almost obsessive. (Being a single parent, I work with a counsellor to give this 12 year old the mental and emotional support needed.) So there are some major adjustments she would need to make and get used to.
Personally, for me to make a decision on letting go, I usually gather all the information, knowledge, thought process, emotions and I simply let them stew. I sit on them without making a decision. Sometimes, I will make a pro and con list but this only works in certain situations.
So I let things stew without giving it much thought, I just get on with life as usual. And what I like is usually taking time off to rest and relax (going away for a short trip helps too), and when I am back, the decision to be made is as clear as day! There’s no wasted emotional or mental energy pondering or being in a state of indecision (Which by the way is one of the most energy draining state to be in! I’ll write more about this state of indecision next time.)
This is my method of making these sort of decisions. What about you? How do you usually help yourself to get out of the state of indecision?
© Shamala Tan 2017
Shamala Tan is an author, spiritual entrepreneur and healer. Her work focuses on transforming the lives of others on the spiritual, emotional, mental and earthly level.
One of her success stories as an author is to be featured alongside New York’s bestsellers Sonia Choquette, Robert Allen, Arielle Ford, Marci Shimoff as well as Christine Kloser in the book Pebbles In The Pond.
Shamala’s clients include small business owners, holistic practitioners as well as those seeking to find more significant meaning and value in life. Shamala offers laser coaching to her clients on a one-to-one basis or in a group environment, offline as well as online.