When Your Failures Are In Your Head

All of us see failures differently. Some of us imagine them or think we are experiencing them even before they happen. Others refuse to acknowledge that things are not working, and so are not prepared to face reality.

In this sharing, I would like to talk about how we imagine that we are failing and eventually cause our real downfall.

I have noticed that for some of my clients, when their self-esteem might be affected by events in their lives or change in circumstances, these things rock the foundation of their lives. They would feel like they are no longer on track, and so it is easy to fall into the trap of thinking of themselves as failures.

Unfortunately for us, we are three-dimensional beings; this means that when one aspect of us is not doing too well, e.g. in the workplace, then it will inevitably also affect our personal relationships. Each element of us is not detached or cut off from the other. And fortunately for us, we are three-dimensional beings, this means we can pull our resources in each aspect of self to work together to create a stronger us.

So how do we work with these pros and cons aspects of our human nature?

Few of us were taught this when we were young, many of us struggle to integrate the three-dimensional beings that we are, as the school system mostly focuses on one part of us. We spend a good part of our days in a system that taught/spoke to only one aspect of us. So is it any wonder we feel we lack the resources to deal with life issues and events?

So when we feel like we are such failures in life, where is this feeling really coming from? We have probably judged our ability to handle life issues/situations as if it is an exam to pass, so we see it in terms of failure and success.

What if, we see life simply as experiences?

If we see everything that the world labels as success or failure as simply an experience. We will hold no judgement towards ourselves or the experience, and we work with total honesty with self to see what we can learn so that we can have fuller experiences later.

When we savour the experiences we have, we appreciate everything. And whatever that was previously perceived as failures are merely opportunities to better the next experience.

Life becomes an experience after experience, and perhaps some of us may consciously experience the sadness when our relationships break down, or when our business ventures go sideways. And we savour the experiences with much support and love for self and from others, that we fear nothing but embrace everything.

All of these sound like an ideal world. But I believe that it can be a practice that we can begin now. We do not need to be enlightened beings to do this. We simply allow ourselves to have a full human experience without the baggage.

And eventually, instead of judgments in our minds, we live with wisdom in our hearts.

Shamala Tan is an author, spiritual entrepreneur and healer.  Her work focuses on transforming the lives of others on the spiritual, emotional, mental and earthly level.

One of her success stories as an author is to be featured alongside New York’s bestsellers Sonia Choquette, Robert Allen, Arielle Ford, Marci Shimoff as well as Christine Kloser in the book Pebbles In The Pond.

Shamala’s clients include small business owners, holistic practitioners as well as those seeking to find more significant meaning and value in life. Shamala offers laser coaching to her clients on a one-to-one basis or in a group environment, offline as well as online.